Overdose No Accident, Says Fantasia – 'I Wanted Out'

Two weeks after being hospitalized for overdosing on aspirin and a sleep aid, singer Fantasia Barrino says she knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted to die.

"I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out," the American Idol winner, 26, tells VH1 in a new Behind the Music interview, airing 9:00 pm (ET/PT) Tuesday, the same day her new album, Back to Me, is released. "At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive]."

She continues: "I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."

Barrino's manager, Brian Dickens, recalls finding her lying on the floor in her room. "Her emotions were extremely low," he says. "She'd been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying 'I love you.' I wrote back, 'I love you more.' Then it hit me."

"I wrote, 'You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.' And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, 'Already did.' I went into Fantasia's room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped."

What made the successful singer, who's preparing to release her third album, want to end her life? "I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired," she says. "My head was hurting me. I was over it."

Affair with Antwaun Cook

To complicate matters even more, Barrino is now being threatened with a lawsuit by Paula Cook, the wife of Antwaun Cook, with whom Fantasia had been having an affair.

"When I met him, he was separated ... wasn't living in his home. He didn't want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told," Barrino says. "I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], 'It didn't work, I'm still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.' "

Ultimately, the singer says the saving grace was her nurse. "My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn't tell me what I wanted to hear," she says. "She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, 'You gotta get up, and you've gotta get out of here, 'cause you haven't fulfilled your destiny.' "

"I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can't, I can't go on, it's too heavy. That was somewhere I don't ever want to go again."

Manager: Fantasia Took an Overdose of Aspirin and a Sleep Aid

It's been a rough week for Fantasia Barrino.

The American Idol season 3 champ was hospitalized Monday in Charlotte, N.C., after overdosing on aspirin and a sleep aid, her manager Brian Dickens confirmed Tuesday.

"Her injuries are not life threatening. She was dehydrated and exhausted at the time," Dickens said. "Fantasia is stable now. She will be released from the hospital soon."

According to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department, the incident was classified as a suicide attempt. The police report lists Dickens as the reporting person and says Barrino was found with "possible internal injuries."

The incident comes just after Barrino was named in a court filing alleging that she was having an affair with a married man. On Monday, the singer denied she was responsible for breaking up the marriage of Paula and Antwaun Cook. However, on Tuesday Dickens said the singer and Antwaun "dated off and on for 11 months."

Barrino believed Cook when "he told her he was not happy in his marriage" and that he and his wife "separated in the late summer of 2009," Dickens said.

The singer read Cook's complaint for the first time Monday and though she calls some of the allegations "totally false," she is "heartbroken and is sorry for any pain she may have caused. Yesterday she was totally overwhelmed with the lawsuit and the media attention."

But "Fantasia is a fighter and a survivor. This is not the hardest thing Fantasia has endured," her manager said. "Fantasia will be stronger, smarter and better for it. Fantasia sends her praise to God and her eternal gratitude to her fans, friends, and family."

Together We Are One - The Idol WInners

As a farewell to "Idol creater" Simon Cowell, seven of the eight Idol winners performed Together We are One. It was great to see Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Barrino, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Hicks, Jordin Sparks and Kris Allen perform, along with many of the other Idol finalists this tribute to Simon Cowell.

Missing in action was Idol winner David Cook who was involved in a prior charity engagement and was unable to attend.

We'll miss Simon!

Which 'American Idol' Star Is the Top Earner?

Winning American Idol isn't a guaranteed ticket to millions - just last year, former winner Fantasia Barrino nearly lost her home due to lapsed mortgage payments. But it doesn't preclude future success either: Jennifer Hudson, who finished seventh her season, went on to win an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress.

So which American Idol alum banks best?

According to a study by Forbes, country-singing cutie Carrie Underwood is the top performer, with estimated earnings of $14 million last year. She has played over 300 concerts, released 2 albums, and sold 9.6 million CDs and 10.7 million downloads. Not bad.

Jennifer Hudson is the second most-successful AI alum, having earned $5 million last year. She's just returned to the stage for the first time since the tragic murders of her mother, brother, and nephew last fall.

Kelly Clarkson, the original American Idol, is still a top-earner as well, despite her most-recent album, All I Ever Wanted, failing to reach the zenith established by Breakaway (2004). She earned an estimated $4.2 million last year.

Jennifer Hudson Battles It Out With Jennifer Holliday

It's the battle of the Jennifers!

Jennifer Hudson shocked the audience at her and Robin Thicke's concert on Thursday night in Atlanta with a surprise jaw-dropping sing-off against Jennifer Holliday with—what else?, "And I'm Telling You (I'm Not Going)."

Holliday first made the song famous, and her signature tune, when she sang it eight times a week in the original 1981 Broadway production of Dreamgirls.

And then Ms. Hudson introduced it to a new generation with her powerhouse rendition in the 2006 movie adaptation of the musical which helped snag an Oscar for the silver screen newbie.

So who do you think does it better? Hear it for yourself here.


Meanwhile, Holliday wasn't the only one joining Hudson onstage. She and fellow American Idol-er Fantasia performed their Grammy-nominated song "I'm His Only Woman."

"Idol" champ Fantasia to star in reality series

Former "American Idol" star Fantasia Barrino will return to reality television in a new unscripted series on VH1.

The nine-time Grammy nominee has received a series commitment from the network for a show, as yet untitled, that will premiere in early 2010.

The project will chronicle Fantasia's life as a recording artist and young single mother.

The North Carolinian rose to fame as the winner of the third season of "Idol" and has gone on to a successful career as a recording artist. Her autobiography, "Life Is Not a Fairy Tale," led to a Lifetime movie in which she played herself.