Comedy Club: Is There a Doctor in the House?

An Israeli doctor says, 'medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.

A German doctor says, 'that is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, and put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

A Russian doctor says, 'in my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.

The Texas doctor, not to be outdone says, 'You guys are way behind, we took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in the White House for eight years, and now half of AMERICA is looking for work.

Joke: "Talking" Italian

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

''Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''

''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''

''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''